Longer post. :3

Last night I was thumb-lazy. S'what comes from blogging off your iPod.

Today I'm on my pyooter. So this'll actually be a post.

Diet.... I'm finding it easier to just not eat. Like, before, I was all "eat in moderation," but that doesn't work. My gluttonous self can't handle it. So if I just don't eat and don't eat and don't eat... and then eat a teeny bit of whatever meal my family's having... and then LEAVE the table... I do okay. I might actually get to my goal before graduation. It'd be nice to be able to wear a dress that actually shows some of my body and doesn't swath me like a burka. Haha.

Exercise is a different story. I pulled my right groin muscle on Friday on a roundoff, of all things. And it wasn't even sore beforehand, which puzzles me. But then again, since each of my legs weighs about thirty pounds and I wasn't warmed up, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Damn overweightness. So anyway, that kind of puts an immediate stop to any running/dancing/tumbling I was planning on doing. And since I'm not at the gym except on Fridays, I can't turn it into a bars workout. It's just conditioning, conditioning, conditioning at home. Which sucks. I HAVE PLENTY OF MUSCLE. I don't WANT any more muscle. Under all this fat, it just makes me look fatter. :/ I am angers. I want to be able to run. Oh wells.

OH, on other news: I'm gonna get a B in statistics, and my dad is gonna kill me. If I don't kill myself first. (I'm not really gonna kill myself. But I might run away from home.)

I MISS PEOPLE

It really sucks having no life. I haven't gotten to see Sarah or Bekah near enough in the last few months. Fucking senior year.

Kinda funny that even though all my other friends talk about how much they love me and how chummy we are, we're really NOT that great of friends. Like, if I suddenly couldn't ever see them again tomorrow, I wouldn't even shed a tear. I mostly use them for excuses to get out of the house and hangout with my real friends, haha. I think that makes me a horrible person. Oh well. :3

My real friends list:

Bekah.
Sarah.
Lily.
Noah.
Bear.

So like, the Pentagon plus Sarah.

That's pretty much it. I don't even relate to Moe that much anymore. Like, we're still good friends, but I don't feel like I can tell her everything anymore. And a real friend, you're supposed to be able to tell them anything... It's not that. I know I could tell her, and she wouldn't freak out. But I know she'd judge me inwardly, and probably never look at me the same. Which, I don't really care, but I'm making a point.

So on the note of being able to tell someone everything, I'll add Steven to the real friends list, even though that's not really his category. He's more under the "you are the light of my life and so I tell you everything" category.

Lately I feel like I don't fit into society at all. Which is cool with me. Society sucks dick. I've got my Merry Band of Misfits, and we're gonna be like zombie apocalypse survivors and kick some major ass. We'll REDEFINE society. And then rule it by giving everyone cake and all that good shit.

Oh, one more thing. I GET REALLY REALLY JEALOUS. For like, no reason. Especially when people beat me at my own game. Example: Last open gym, Jordan was doing 2 1/2 twists on the floor. I got super super jelly that she could do more impressive shit than me. I was surprised at myself, but then I was like, naw mang, you've been like that for forever. It's just more noticeable now because you've got a boyfriend and you want him to see you be the best at everything. Obviously, that can't happen all the time, but I'm used to it happening with gymnastics. Ah, well. Fuckit.