My brain annoys me.

My subconscious needs a slap.

I dreamed about an old crush last night. It was so real, and I woke up crying. I hate that I'm so weak emotionally. He wasn't even a good pick, it turned out. So why do I cry? Beats me. I want so badly to experience love, I guess. I want to know how real love, not one-way infatuation, feels.

I'm having trouble staying on my diet. I have to shrink my appetite, which means being hungry for a while as I eat less until my stomach shrinks. I've done it before, and lost eight pounds. And then gained it all back during Christmas break. So I know I can do it. It's just not pleasant. Green tea helps, though. A LOT. Thank God for Costco.

Hopefully I can trim down enough before my friend's birthday party so that I can wear the clothes I want... I've got exactly 25 days. I can do it. 140. Grrr. >:[